Tuesday, August 10, 2010

What The?....

Okay, so we have 2 daughter's that have had the "taste" of living outside our Home!

The recently 20 yr old....2 yrs of dorm life! The recently 22 yr old....one year of "campus housing" and one year of sharing an apartment with a friend! So this summer finds them both Home again. Not that they "really" want to be, as they so often express to me especially lately! Don't forget, our life has changed too, with you both Home again!

But, my question IS....why do they think they can all of a sudden be so snappy with me?! I ask a simple question and I get snapped at, every time! They are in MY Home again after all! Least they forget who they still need to be respectful to!

They seem to think they can just come and go...as. they. please. without having to answer to anybody! By that I mean....If, for example, I ask what time will you be Home or when will you come Home, I get snapped at with an, " I don't know!" And when I ask why their response is like that....I get told, "I just feel like you constantly want to know my schedule and I don't know, I go day by day, moment by moment!" My response to that being, "I guess I deserve that! Since I'm just trying to figure out IF there will be enough food for you when you do come Home!"

I mean, don't get me wrong I Love Our Girls....but, come on, when did you get the right to be disrespectful to us because you had to move back Home this summer?!

We are still providing them shelter, their own bedroom, food, clean clothing and all the little luxuries that they seem to not remember....a pool to swim in on a hot day, paid cell phones and paid car insurance! Seems to me they have it pretty good for not wanting to be here so much!

So I think that they need to be showing alittle more respect then they do! Because when they do finally move out again....I might just be alittle snappy when they call and need to talk or need advice or say they are coming Home again....


  1. Hope that they read your blog because that about says it all. It's all about common courtesy all the way around. Best wishes with the communication!

  2. I'm with Vee!
    Good luck.
    Ladybug Creek

  3. Boy I know exactly what you mean. We're in a little different situation with not one home but one plus one. Our soon to be 23 year old daughter is finishing college and living with us with her 2 year old daughter. I'm a full time Nana and sometimes feel that I'm not appreciated for all that I do take care of around here. OH I definitely understand where you're coming from.

    :) Teri

  4. Sounds like mama needs to lay down the law. You deserve so much better than that Lisa. You have been through a lot lately, and your girls KNOW this. I really think its a maturity thing. They have finally begun to experience freedom, and its gone to their heads. A heart to heart is definitely in order.

  5. You go GIRL!!!! I have a 19 year old son and I'm having the same problem. But I recently laid down the law and it's a little better around here for now. Just remind them who's BOSS!! I've finally got my nerve up to start a blog come by for a visit sometimes!!

    Good Luck,

  6. Oh Lisa...don't get me started! LOL Having JUST had 2 of my daughter's move out. (One married, one new college grad/new job) I know EXACTLY what's going on in your house. As you know, it's not as simple as "laying down the law." We both know we've raised them to be responsible AND respectful. I think they are just learning to speread their wings in a "new" way. SO! I learned to spread MY wings too! LOL I stopped planning for them! Instead of asking them who, what, where, when and how...I TELL them what my plans are and do NOT make plans for them. I cook for Jim and I when WE are read for dinner, and if there is not enough food for them or we are all done with dinner, well, they are big girls and can fend for themselves! Ha! Trust me, soon enough, after a few cereal dinners or they have to spend their own money on take out, they will be telling you when they plan to be home! The oldest was shocked one day to come home and find mom and dad floating in the pool with a cold beverage. It's time to show them YOUR independence Lisa!

  7. Ahahaha! SEE! That post by Ksoav was really ME, Tammy! One of the darling daughter's used my laptop and left it logged in with their name! Arrrgh! Gotta love 'em! LOL

  8. KSoav/Tammy said it perfectly!! Given their ages and the fact that they've had a taste of independence already, I think that letting them enjoy the consequences of irresponsible independence, will be the most effective way to bring them around. Give it a try, I believe it will work!

    Good luck,

  9. Oh, Lisa, I've walked this same road and had to remind daughters that they needed to be respectful as adult guests - which is more what they become when they grow up.

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  11. Your daughters are no longer "children". They are young adults and as such should know that there are consequences for what we do and say...

    A) Previous comments are correct. Unless they actually say they will be home for a specific meal, don't cook more than for you and your husband. And, if they are home for any meals, they should be helping with prep and clean up after the meal.

    B) THEY should be doing their own laundry.

    C) If they are home from college, and you're paying for it, they OWE you...(yes, they really do) civil answers at the very least. YOUR house, YOUR rules.

    D) If they are not in college, they should be employed (at least part time) and paying their own cell phone bills and car insurance.

    I have six grandchildren...I know wereof I speak! They might get by with "attitude" with their contemporaries, but the "real world" college profs and employers (and parents) are entitled to respect and don't have to put up with their "I'll do what I want" attitude...time they learn that leasson. They may have "tasted" independence, but as long as they are relying on Mom and Dad, they AREN'T independent...yet. They need to realize how lucky they are to have a safe place (home) to bail them out.


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