I try not to be one who gets on here and posts about my problems or issues. Although, I am not against those that do....because there are many times I feel the need to do just that, but don't! But today I am going to use this post as a journal of sorts....maybe venting forum is a better way to say it. I am quite sure that later I am going to wish I hadn't and may delete the whole thing....because more often then not once I get something off my chest, regret for airing it sets in and I think to myself "Why did I just do that!" But if you don't mind I would like to say that I had my feelings hurt last night, as is often the case lately!
That is why I am titling this "Is it me?"
Of course I would have to go back a bit for anybody to understand what in the heck I am talking about....so if you care to bare with me! Here goes:
Our youngest daughter, the only one Home now, has been having a sleeping issue since before Thanksgiving. She went to a sleepover around that time with a group of girls, I am just remembering I posted about it on 11/18/09 (I just discovered I don't know how to do the "here" and have it show up...oh well). Anyway, they watched (meaning everyone but her) Paranormal Activity. And they did nothing but talk about it around her for weeks! She now has sleeping issues and won't sleep in her room, which happens to be toward the back of our Home. She is perfectly safe there....but none the less, she now sleeps in her sister's room/guest room I re-did recently, because it is closer to our room! This was all fine and good for awhile because we wanted her to feel safe....no problem. I made it totally clear to her that just because she is sleeping there, does NOT mean she is taking over the room as if it were hers!
I know she says!
Well, as I predicted (to myself) she has slowly taken over this room. This is the one room I could count on to....stay clean and relaxed looking after years of having her sister demolish the room when she was here on a daily basis. So now, not only has she left her own room messy and very lived in looking, she leaves this room the same way. She never has time to make the bed, pick up her clothes, throw away her trash or bring down her dirty dishes to the kitchen. She goes to school like every other kid at 7:15 a.m. and I pick her up at 2:30 p.m. everyday. She is in basketball, so everyday she does have practice if there is not an actual game. She rarely has homework, because she gets it done in school. Practice lasts about 1 hr and 45 mins. Otherwise, she is Home, doing what you might ask.....sitting on the computer. Which really doesn't bother me that she gets on the computer. But I would appreciate some "help" in the area of her room! She knows this....but she fights it every single day. She has no chores, because I am an at Home mom and there are only 3 of us here now, for the most part I can get what needs to be done...done! But, I do not clean their rooms (my girls that is). When they became old enough to do it on their own it became their job!
Should I feel bad about that??
Because I am "at Home", does that mean anything concerning Home is my JOB? I mean okay, what else do I do all day right? That is basically what my DH asked me last night around 10 p.m. when I was telling DD she was not sleeping in her sisters room anymore! You see I spent my day yesterday cleaning "both of her bedrooms", because you see now she has 2 since she can't sleep in hers! She makes a BIG deal anytime I ask her to clean up or straighten her room! Why am I worried about it she asks?
Okay, so yesterday afternoon DH calls me from work and asks what I am doing? I tell him that I am cleaning DD's 2 bedrooms. I say that I think it is time that she moves into her "own room", he agrees! He suggests we talk to her "tonight"! (which was last night).....I say okay, your with me on this right? I'm not off on thinking she has done this long enough right (I mean she will be 15 on the 25th)! He seems to agree again and repeats that we will talk "tonight"! Well, tonight never came out of his mouth, so after Idol at 10 p.m., ....bedtime, I said you need to sleep in your room tonight! The fussing began and DH all of a sudden was NOT with me on this! You see he was tired, and I know he was....me too!
But where's my back up man?
All of a sudden I was told I picked the wrong time, 10 o'clock at night was not the time, why didn't I bring it up earlier? and so on! (if I would have brought it up earlier, she would have just whined longer!) I said, Why didn't YOU bring it up earlier? I reminded him that we talked about this earlier! I mean is it my JOB too, to have these conversations and reinforce things all by myself, because I am "at Home" all day?
So here is the thing that was said that Hurt my feelings! He looks at me and points to her and says: She has the equivalent of a JOB by going to school everyday!!!! Whoa....I mean WHOA! Did I just hear him right? MY 15 yr old daughter....has a JOB by going to school everyday! SO, does that mean that "I" don't....because I am Home everyday and do nothing??
So I remind BOTH of them what I ACTUALLY do all day! Things like, getting up before either of them and bringing him up his coffee. Making sure she's awake so she can get ready for school, ironing his clothes so he can go to work, taking her to school, getting the groceries, washing the clothes, making the bed, vacuuming the floors, paying the bills, washing the dishes, running the errands, taking her to and from bball practice, picking up AFTER THEM because they can't seem to do it themselves....need I say more?! I think I do a heck of ALOT for having NO JOB!
Again.....Is it me?
Well, she slept in her sister's room! But she did make the bed when she got out of it!
I did iron his clothes this morning, even though last night I told him I was done! He did try and make up to me before he walked out the door....but I am still hurt and mad! I told him he hurt me last night and I was still not happy! Of course he says that he didn't mean it that way! Right!
Overall she is a GREAT kid and I LOVE my DH very much, but we all have those times and I know that. But it doesn't make it hurt any less when it does happen on those few occasions!
I now need to go to my JOB and wash all of this "dirty laundry" that I have been airing!
Thanks for listening! I know someone out there can relate to me right now!
P.S. This John Mayer song came on the radio right after I dropped off my daughter at school this morning on my way Home! I took it as a sign, ha,ha! Please enjoy it! :)